24.10.25 [영어/작문] Music 작문
교정본
Music is a wonderful stress reliever, especially when I come back home after work. I turn on a mood lamp with calm and slow music when I want to clear my head. It helps a lot and makes me feel comfortable and relaxed.
My all-time favorite music genre is jazz. Just as jazz matches a glass of wine, I enjoy listening to jazz while drinking wine at home. The artists whose music I often listen to are Chet Baker and Nat King Cole. Their songs will be remembered as a legendary playlist for eternity.
The most memorable musical experience is the Honne concert. They performed in Korea last year. Since their songs have been on my steady playlists for a long time, I know their songs quite well, and that was the reason I wanted to visit their concert. More than that, when I had a tough time during the COVID quarantine, their songs consoled me with emotional empathy. Thus, the experience of participating in their concert was thrilling for me while viewing the show the whole time.
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오늘의 노트
1. HIGHLIGHT:
Word Choice (Just): The word "Just" is added for emphasis. It strengthens the connection between jazz and wine, enhancing the overall expression. The phrase "Just as" indicates that the relationship between jazz and wine is not only comparable but also significant. This addition makes the comparison more impactful, suggesting that both jazz and wine complement each other in an important way.
Pronoun Use (whose): "By whom the music I often listen" is incorrect. The word "whom" is not used properly here. The correct form is "whose music," which indicates possession, clearly linking the artists to their music.
Verb Form (to are): The phrase "is Chat Baker" is incorrect. The subject "the artists" is plural, so the correct form is "are Chet Baker and Nat King Cole." This ensures the verb agrees with the plural subject.
Spelling (Chet): The name "Chat Baker" is misspelled. The correct name is "Chet Baker," which accurately identifies the artist.
Omission of "by people": The phrase "by people" is unnecessary and can be omitted. The corrected sentence "Their songs will be remembered as a legendary playlist for eternity" is more concise and effectively conveys the same meaning without redundancy.
2. EXAMPLES:
- Just as a chef matches spices to create a delicious dish, I enjoy cooking with various spices in my kitchen.
- The author whose books I often read is Jane Austen.
- Their paintings will be remembered as masterpieces for generations to come.
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격식 있게
Music plays a significant role in my life as a wonderful stress reliever, especially when I return home after work. I often relax by turning on a mood lamp and listening to calming, slow music to clear my mind. It greatly helps me to feel comfortable and relaxed.
My favorite music genre of all time is jazz. Just as jazz complements a glass of wine, I enjoy listening to jazz while sipping wine at home. Some of the artists whose music I frequently listen to are Chet Baker and Nat King Cole. Their songs will be cherished as a timeless playlist forever.
One of the most memorable musical experiences I had was attending the Honne concert. They performed in Korea last year. Their songs had been part of my regular playlists for a long time, which motivated me to attend their concert. Moreover, during a challenging period of the COVID quarantine, their songs provided me solace with their emotional empathy. This made the experience of attending their concert truly enjoyable and exciting for me as I watched the show throughout.
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자연스럽게
I find music super calming, especially when I get home from work. I like turning on soft music and a cozy light to unwind. It really helps me relax and feel at ease.
I'm a huge jazz fan—it's my go-to music pick. Jazz and a glass of wine just go hand in hand for me. I love listening to Chet Baker and Nat King Cole the most. Their songs are absolutely timeless.
Going to a Honne concert is definitely my top musical memory. I caught their show in Korea last year. Since I'm a long-time fan, I knew most of their songs by heart and felt a strong connection. Their music was like a comforting friend during the tough COVID times. Being part of their concert experience was so exciting, I was glued to the show the whole time.