25.05.30 [영어/작문] Royal Ascot Horse Racing Event 작문

교정본

I have recently participated in Buddha's birthday ceremony in the renowned temple in Seoul, Jogyesa. Various tourists from other countries visited it to enjoy the colorful lamps hung at the top. I also admired the night view with the lighted lamps in Cheonggye Stream, which is a stream near the temple and where people can walk around.

I like wearing luxury clothes for special events like wedding ceremonies and business conferences. In Korean cultural context, guests can wear comfortable but slightly formal casual attire for wedding ceremonies in Korea. However, I don't personally prefer to wear such clothes when attending events.

My all-time favorite clothing brands are SPA brands like Zara and Uniqlo. There are some factors that attract me to these stores. First, they sell quality clothes at more competitive prices compared to department store luxury brands. Second, they quickly adapt to fashion trends or create trendy items by selling large quantities of clothing. Last but not least, you can shop at the stores easily whenever you need to purchase items.

-

오늘의 노트

1. HIGHLIGHT:
Verb Choice (are sensitive to vs. quickly adapt to): The phrase "are sensitive to fashion trends" is grammatically correct but does not clearly describe active behavior. "Sensitive to" means they notice trends, but "quickly adapt to" shows they respond to and follow trends, which is a more accurate expression for people or businesses involved in fashion. In English, "adapt to" is a verb phrase used when someone changes their behavior or products to match a situation.

Verb Choice (lead vs. create): The original verb "lead" is not the correct choice here. In English, "lead" is usually followed by a group or movement, not by "trendy items." The verb "create" is more appropriate because it clearly shows that they make or introduce new trendy items. "Create" fits better with the meaning of starting or producing fashion trends.

Word Choice (a stack of vs. large quantities of): "A stack of clothing" is a literal phrase that means a physical pile of clothes, but it does not clearly express the idea of selling in bulk. "Large quantities of clothing" is the correct phrase because it describes a business selling many items, which matches the context. In English, "large quantities of" is commonly used to describe volume in sales or production.

Clarity and Parallel Structure (or create trendy items): The phrase "or create trendy items" is clearer and follows a parallel structure with "quickly adapt to." Both verbs—"adapt" and "create"—are active and consistent in form, which improves the balance and readability of the sentence.

2. EXAMPLES:
   - They quickly adapt to new music styles that become popular.
   - The designer wants to create trendy accessories for the upcoming season.
   - The store sold large quantities of shoes during the sale event.

-

격식 있게

I have recently participated in the Buddha's Birthday ceremony at the renowned Jogyesa Temple in Seoul. Various tourists from other countries visited to enjoy the colorful lanterns hung overhead. I also admired the night view along Cheonggye Stream, which is located near the temple and provides a pleasant walking area for visitors.

I enjoy wearing luxury clothes for special events, such as wedding ceremonies and business conferences. In the context of Korean culture, guests often wear comfortable yet slightly formal attire for wedding ceremonies. However, I personally do not prefer to wear such clothing when attending events.

My favorite clothing brands are SPA brands like Zara and Uniqlo. Several factors attract me to these stores. First, they offer quality clothing at more competitive prices compared to luxury brands found in department stores. Second, they quickly adapt to fashion trends and produce trendy items by selling large quantities of clothing. Lastly, shopping at these stores is convenient, allowing me to purchase items whenever I need them.

-

자연스럽게

I have recently went to the Buddha's birthday ceremony at Jogyesa temple in Seoul. It’s a famous place, and a lot of tourists came to see the colorful lanterns hanging everywhere. I also enjoyed the view at Cheonggye Stream nearby, where the lights made everything look beautiful at night, and people were walking around enjoying the scene.

I do like to wear nice clothes for special occasions like weddings and business meetings. In Korea, guests usually wear comfy but a little bit formal clothes to weddings. But to be honest, I don’t really like wearing those kinds of clothes when I go to events.

My favorite clothing brands are those SPA brands like Zara and Uniqlo. I like them for a few reasons. First, they have good quality clothes that don’t cost too much compared to fancy department store brands. Second, they always follow fashion trends quickly and make trendy items. And finally, it's super easy to shop there whenever I need something!