25.02.20 [영어/작문] 2024 Drone Show Korea Soars High 작문

교정본

Judicial authorities should establish appropriate legislation before generalizing drone use in public. For instance, a procedure needs to exist to grant permission to those who want to use drones and designate restricted areas where they can operate drones. Nevertheless, unpredictable cases involving drones may occur regardless of law enforcement. The relevant institution should respond to these situations rapidly to minimize the negative consequences as much as possible.

If drone use is normalized in a diverse array of industries, professional drone controllers will be in greater demand in many fields, such as the military, arts, and public services. The technological advancement of drones will accelerate their widespread adoption, and relevant industries will inevitably develop as a result.

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오늘의 노트

1. HIGHLIGHT:
Verb Choice ("cope with" vs. "respond to"): The original sentence uses "cope with," which means to manage or deal with difficulties over time. However, in this context, the institution needs to take quick action, so "respond to" is the better choice, as it implies immediate and appropriate action.

Word Choice ("instant cases" vs. "these situations"): "Instant cases" is unnatural because "instant" usually refers to something happening immediately rather than describing a case. "These situations" is a more natural phrase to refer to incidents or emergencies requiring a response.

Verb Choice ("diminish" vs. "minimize"): "Diminish" means to gradually reduce the intensity or size of something, but "minimize" is the better word when referring to reducing harm or negative effects to the lowest possible level.

Word Choice ("deteriorated results" vs. "negative consequences"): "Deteriorated results" is incorrect because "deteriorated" describes something that has already worsened over time. "Negative consequences" is the proper phrase, as it refers to harmful outcomes that the institution is trying to prevent.

Punctuation (Missing Period): The original sentence lacks a period at the end. Every complete sentence in English should end with proper punctuation, so a period is added.


2. EXAMPLES:
   - The teacher should respond to student questions quickly.
   - The government must respond to emergencies effectively.
   - We need to minimize the negative consequences of pollution.
   - The company is working hard to minimize the impact of their decision.
   - She knew how to respond to difficult situations with confidence.

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격식 있게

It is essential for judicial authorities to establish appropriate legislation prior to the widespread utilization of drones in public spaces. For example, a clear procedure must be developed to grant permission to individuals who wish to operate drones, as well as to designate restricted areas in which drone usage is prohibited. However, it is important to recognize that unpredictable incidents involving drones may still occur, even with law enforcement in place. Therefore, the relevant institutions should respond swiftly to such situations in order to minimize any negative consequences as effectively as possible.

If the use of drones becomes standard practice across various industries, there will be a higher demand for professional drone operators in numerous sectors, including the military, arts, and public services. The continuous technological advancements in drone capabilities will facilitate their widespread adoption, leading to the inevitable growth of related industries as a result.

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자연스럽게

I think before we start using drones everywhere, we need some good rules from the government. Like, there should be a way for people to get permission to fly drones, and there should be places where they can't fly them. But even with rules, there can be some crazy things that happen with drones. So, it’s important for the people in charge to act fast when something goes wrong to make sure things don’t get too messy.

If drones become a regular thing in different jobs, then we’re going to need more people who can operate them, like in the military, arts, and public services. As drones keep getting better, they'll be used more often, and this will help new businesses pop up too!