25.05.19 [영어/작문] AI Technology Detects Dementia 작문

교정본

Dementia should be treated as a serious health issue. Older adults affected by dementia lose their sense of reality due to memory loss and may start behaving like children. They can get lost on the street or encounter dangerous situations. In conclusion, the prevention of dementia should be taken seriously by everyone.

Memorizing everyday things habitually, such as to-do lists and basic calculations, can be helpful in preventing dementia. In addition, playing games that exercise the brain, like sudoku and puzzles, can also improve cognitive ability.

Artificial Intelligence makes decisions based on large datasets, so its assistance can be a reliable and helpful solution when we need to find information that would have been difficult to obtain without AI. However, it is important to carefully monitor the quality of its assistance because it can make mistakes from time to time.

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오늘의 노트

Feedback & Suggestions:

Changed “issue in health” to “health issue” for natural phrasing.

Changed “lose the sense of reality due to lack of memory” to “lose their sense of reality due to memory loss” for smoother and clearer expression.

Changed “will become taking motions like a child” to “may start behaving like children” for clarity.

Changed “bump into a dangerous situation” to “encounter dangerous situations” for more natural wording.

Changed “anyone” to “everyone” to emphasize universal responsibility.

Feedback & Suggestions:

Changed “mundane things” to “everyday things” for a more positive tone.

Changed “would be useful to prevent dementia” to “can be helpful in preventing dementia” for natural phrasing.

Changed “Other than that, there are some games to discipline brain ability” to “In addition, playing games that exercise the brain” for clarity and natural flow.

Changed “discipline brain ability” to “improve cognitive ability” for more accurate terminology.

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격식 있게

Dementia should be regarded as a significant health concern. Older adults who are affected by dementia often lose their sense of reality due to memory loss and may exhibit behaviors similar to those of children. They may become disoriented in public 수 spaces or find themselves in hazardous situations. Therefore, it is essential for everyone to take the prevention of dementia seriously.

Regularly memorizing everyday items, such as to-do lists and basic calculations, can be beneficial in preventing dementia. Furthermore, engaging in activities that stimulate the brain, such as playing sudoku and completing puzzles, can enhance cognitive abilities.

Artificial Intelligence (AI) makes decisions based on extensive datasets, making it a reliable and useful tool when seeking information that may be challenging to obtain without such assistance. Nevertheless, it is crucial to monitor the quality of AI support closely, as it can occasionally produce errors.

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자연스럽게

Dementia is a big deal when it comes to health. Older people with dementia often forget things and can start acting like kids. They might get lost outside or find themselves in dangerous spots. So, it’s super important for everyone to pay attention to ways to prevent dementia.

One way to help avoid dementia is by getting into the habit of remembering daily stuff, like to-do lists and simple math. Also, playing games that make you think, like sudoku and puzzles, can really help keep your brain sharp.

Artificial Intelligence (AI) can help us make decisions because it uses a lot of information. It’s really useful for finding things that might be tricky to get without help. But we need to be careful and check how well it’s doing since it can mess up sometimes.